Monday, January 10, 2005

Feeling Behind

I'm always feeling behind in technology. I always I feel like I'm just right around the corner to some big breakthrough and if I read that next book, all knowledge will be mine. The universe and all its pearls will be mine. It's a never-ending quest. Does anyone else feel this? Knowledge is a never ending thirst and the more you quench it, the more you want to drink. The humbling fact is that no matter how much I learn, I will never know everything that I want to. I will always be on my search for more. So, why not just accept defeat and stop? Well, what fun would that be? It's the Samauri's creed to be the best that you can be (see you can learn things from Tom Cruise movies!). I will spend the rest of my life trying to be the best developer I can be. There's satisfaction is in knowing when I cross a barrier or master a piece of my craft that I thought was unattainable. The problem is with each step the bar becomes higher. Of course, this gives me the feeling that I'm always behind. And there's always someone out there who's kung-fu is better. I don't feel threatened when I find someone who is better than me, rather I take it as an oppoturnity to learn more. I might not always like the lesson, but the fight to resolve the conflict within is where I break across my barriers. A medicine much needed to help me reach higher heights. I guess I don't have a point to this post. I just wanted to express my feelings toward learning. My love to know more about what I do and to be the best I can be. But, I never feel like I am a master. I always feel behind and I'm alright with that. In fact, it gives me a certain inner peace. Striving is great and it's the journey that's important.

No comments: